Prayer Groups in the Era of Social Distancing
March 14, 2020
Many of us have been struggling with questions about whether our contemplative prayer groups should continue to meet in light of the current situation and these decisions are increasingly being taken out of our hands as churches decide to close.
As someone who teaches on spirituality and digital media at General Theological Seminary and who has led prayer groups by video, teleconference, email and Facebook for a number of years, I’d like to offer some suggestions about the many ways we can continue to stay connected in prayer during this challenging time.
As centering prayer practitioners we know something about staying connected to our centers. We also know that while it’s important to continue to practice regularly by ourselves in our homes, there’s something very powerful about practicing together in groups. Contact with others can be especially valuable if we want to stay connected to the part of ourselves that knows not only how to cope in this emergency but even how to flourish, continuing to feel gratitude and joy. The birds are still singing. We can still smile at each other. Even while our heads are filled with worried thoughts and complicated emotions, there is a still, centered part of us in our most wordless reaches that stays connected to God. The prayer energy of others can help us to access this wise part of ourselves that remembers who we are at the deepest level. This prayer energy can also help us to stay healthy.
People who are drawn to silence and contemplative prayer sometimes have a bias against the digital realm, associating it with noise and distraction. However I have tried all the following digital formats with many people and we have found that they can be surprisingly moving and effective. Let’s use the amazing technologies that are available to us today to stay connected to each other and the most centered parts of ourselves during this crisis.
Here are a few suggestions, plus some thoughts about why it’s important to keep practicing, now more than ever.
• Use email to coordinate prayer times and share lectio responses with your group or prayer partner. Just knowing that your group is continuing to meet can be comforting, energizing, and supportive, even when you are in separate places. Before the meeting time you could email the group a lectio divina passage and share reflections by email during or after the group or throughout the week. Alternatively you could connect using a text or WhatsApp group or a private Facebook group if all participants are willing to be on Facebook.
• Practice lectio divina by teleconference. Services like Free Conference Call provide teleconferencing services free of charge, although your long distance provider may charge you for the call, depending on your plan. The participants are given an access code to get onto the private call. This can be a beautiful way to experience lectio divina, emphasizing the power of the human voice even when we are not visible to each other. Start with five minutes of silence or practice centering prayer separately before getting on the call.
• Join or start a centering prayer group by videoconference. I have used videoconference to practice centering prayer with people all over the world. There is now a robust network of weekly groups on Contemplative Outreach’s Meditation Chapel, whose ever-growing numbers are a testament to how satisfying and effective this format can be. Join one of these groups, contact me to join my Tuesday or Wednesday groups at 7 pm EST, or experience a recording of a session here.
Or set up your own group using Skype or Zoom. Skype is free and can be used by anyone with a computer or phone and a webcam. Some people may resist using Skype at first because they do not realize that it is free and very easy to install. Request that those who will be on the call update their Skype to the latest version by going to the Skype menu —> Check for Updates. Sometimes those who have an older version cannot be seen on the call but can be heard. Skype can also be used as a free way to connect by audio only. Here are instructions for making a group call on Skype.
I have moved to Zoom for most video meetings. Zoom is free for one on one meetings and for groups lasting up to forty minutes and starts at $14.99 per month for unlimited group conferencing. I have found it more reliable and easier to use than Skype. It can easily be used by voice only for those who do not have a camera, participants do not need a Zoom account, and there is generally less confusion about how to enter a group call or how to record a session than on Skype. Zoom provides good technical support if you have a problem.
The mute button can be used to maintain silence when participants are not sharing prayers or lectio responses and participants can mute themselves if there is a lot of noise at their end. They can also turn off their cameras if they prefer not to be seen. The screen sharing function in Zoom can easily be used to display written prayers, which allows participants to read along. This screen sharing feature can also be used during visio divina to project an image. I usually begin the group by chanting a psalm by myself rather than as a group because the latency or bounce effect makes it confusing to chant together. However, we usually end by saying a prayer together which I show to the group with the screen sharing function because people have told me that it’s important to them to pray as a group even though the bounce creates a cacophonous effect.
There can be technical difficulties with getting people on and service cutting out. It’s good to leave some extra time to deal with technical issues and not work within a very tight schedule. If you start to feel frustrated, remember how much time you’re saving by not having to travel to the meeting.
If someone will be joining a group who has not used video much, it can be helpful to meet with them a few minutes early to make sure they know how to turn their camera on and off, mute themselves, use the chat function and other controls that appear at the bottom or top of the screen. If people are using touch screen phones the controls may be hidden until the screen is touched. You may also want to suggest that everyone in the group update their version of the video conferencing software periodically since newer versions may provide better quality reception. If someone can be heard but not seen, this can sometimes be corrected by updating their software.
Don’t stop praying!
A time like this can take us to the heart of contemplative practice. When we’re in the midst of a difficult experience it may be the last time when we want to sit silently with our helplessness and vulnerability, yet it is also an opportunity to be present to all that is happening inside us and those around us at the deepest level. When we open ourselves to our pain and our uncertainty about what is coming, we might finally be able to begin to let go of our illusion that we can fix everything. As Thomas Keating writes,
To be powerless means to be absolutely helpless. . . . This, oddly enough, is the best disposition for the beginning of a spiritual journey. Why is that? Because the deeper one’s awareness of one’s powerlessness and the more desperate, the more willing one is to reach out for help.
This is a moment when we may be opened in a new way so that our prayer can really touch us. When we allow ourselves to move through all our desperate feelings, we may find on the other side our hope, not a fake, put-on hope, but a real hope we can feel in our bodies after we have allowed ourselves to feel our other, so called “bad” emotions.
I invite you to use your practice to hold all the different emotions that life is evoking in you. We may not know what to do with the fear, despair, irritation, rage, or uncertainty we feel but we can offer them to God in our prayer, deepening our sense of trust and intimacy with the sacred, from which goodness and energy and guidance will flow into us, giving us the strength and sense of direction to take our next step.
• Read about How to Set Up a Zoom Group.
• some tips on using video for spiritual encounters.
• information on my Centering Prayer By Video programs.
Join an online weekly groups on Contemplative Outreach’s Meditation Chapel.
Contact me to join my Tuesday or Wednesday groups at 7 pm EST in March and April.
Experience a recording of a session here.
Read about my new book Centering Prayer for Everyone.